Well… It’s 7:30 am and I’ve been just writing reports and stuff non-stop since yesterday. It’s not like I’m being enslaved by the reports or anything. Actually I could’ve finished the reports several days ago already, is just that these reports are particularly… fun (yeah… call me weird
), and I feel like making them as good as possible. Anyway, no matter how much I like my reports, it’s also important to take a break every once in a while. So I’m taking this chance to get some stuff that has been bugging me for a while out of my head.
I’m in Japan as you know already, and life is great here; got lots of good friends, got a nice apartment near the university, have enough money to survive, etc… In other words, so far so good. If you were to ask me, I would say that this country is just awesome. Some stuff could be better of course, but… it’s awesome still. Yet, even though life is so much fun… there are a couple of things that make me regret the fact I ever came here.
One of the things I regret… are weddings. No, I’m not getting married or anything, and there’re no plans for that… at least not for now that is (don’t worry mom, I’m just teasing you a bit
). But, since I came here, I’ve already missed five weddings of friends/relatives. It’s like… everybody was just waiting for me to leave, so that they could get married once and for all or something. It’s not like it’s such a big deal or anything to miss 5 or 10 weddings while I’m here, but it would’ve been nice to share those moments with family and friends on such unique occasions you know? Those moments will never come back… and I just missed them.
There are many other things I regret… failing the entrance exam the first time, not being able to see or talk with my family and friends in my country, etc… But probably the one I regret the most is not having been able to be at my grandpa’s funeral. It’s been almost one year since that day… and I still haven’t paid my respects. With all that was going on with the entrance exams and the high price of the plane tickets, I just couldn’t afford to go… and still can’t. My grandpa was a very special person to me… He would often complain about things, like most old men do, but would always help you if you asked him. Harsh… but gentle, that’s probably the best way to describe him. Yet, for such a person who helped me and taught me so much, I still haven’t gone to his grave even once… as if I was being oblivious to his death.
There are so many words I wish I had said… so many things I wish I had done… so many moments I wish I could’ve shared… and I just couldn’t… Will God ever forgive such impotence?
Even so… after one whole year… I still remember you grandpa… in every single day… and every single smile. Even though you are no longer around… I’ll make sure I make it up to you somehow… someday… I promise.

































Recent Comments